Embracing Uncertainty

Giving up control fixed everything.

Today I’m working out of Chicago on a multi-property photoshoot for Convene—my first paid travel gig in a few years. This weekend also marks the first time the mask mandate has been dropped in Chicago. (This blows my mind, and I’m processing it slowly.) A bit over a month from now will mark my four year anniversary in NYC. Thinking back to the kid who decided to move to the biggest city in the US without a plan, a stable job, or a savings account, ill-prepared for well over half my experience being under COVID restrictions, I want to go back in time and reassure myself that I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

When you look at it from the outside, my journey looks seamless, and the successes appear consistent. In all honesty, I spend a good portion of my time overwhelmed with worry about the future, even though I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on now. As I’ve moved to embracing uncertainty and doing my best in unpredictable circumstance, things have started to fall into place.

Work abroad.

I’m visiting the UK for the first time in April, (a trip that’s 20 years overdue, as I didn’t participate in a high school choir trip in 9th grade.) It just so happens that I’ll be shooting for Convene yet again in London; something I never dreamed of. It’s likely that I’ll observe a series of billboards I helped design in train stations, ferries, subways and busses around the same time—these pieces will be all over the globe for a new Hubspot campaign launching soon. Every time I take on a new gig, I embrace it fully whether the subject matter excites me or not, because every opportunity has led to better ones, and I’ve grown so much from each project I’ve touched, but more importantly, the people who you meet on every gig know people, and that’s actually how I’ve moved into 90% of the jobs I’ve taken in the last three years.

My dream to open a design firm is getting closer by the day, and truthfully I’m so excited that I’m on a path to an unknown destination. The uncertainty—when embraced fully—can be the most exciting part. I just have to keep breathing and accept that amazing things are coming no matter what comes next.

Justice For George Floyd

I’m hopeful.

We’re stuck in a pandemic, I’m wanting so badly to be with my family and friends back home. Wanting to hug them. I survived living in Brooklyn, the epicenter of coronavirus. We will be reopening society here in a little over a week. We made it through a crisis. Now Minneapolis in the epicenter of a civil rights movement at a scale we haven’t seen before, and it’s long overdue.

This is not just a protest anymore. It’s a war. Minneapolis police is run by white supremacists, and this needs to be fixed. The Ku Klux Klan has moved in, attempting to pillage and destroy everything, trying to blame black and brown people for their actions, tearing apart and burning the city. They have met their match. Citizens have been forced to stand with their communities and bond together to save their businesses and homes every night and clean up what’s left in the morning. How very Minnesotan. We’ve also made it clear that we’re not going to let George Floyd’s death go. New York is with you. LA is with you. We’re all fighting this fight together now.

The government has failed us. Police have stepped aside, allowing the city to burn. Trump tweets, his good old boys and clansmen descend on the city on the drop of a dime. We won’t stand for it anymore. 2020 is the year to vote out the problem, and protest until we get justice.

I could never have predicted that two of the most devastating and impactful events of my life would occur in two of my favorite cities in the same damn year, exposing systematic flaws and gaping wounds that have needed fixing for generations. Please be safe out there, friends. Take care of your neighbors, fight for your businesses, and remember: we’re making change happen every day. It’s a time for justice, reform, equality and empathy.

For over two months I was convinced that COVID was going to kill me. I woke up to horror dreams of being intubated in an ICU. I’m still here, and no matter how scary this time feels, you’re still here too. I promise things will work out for us. George Floyd was not so lucky. We must remember his name, and fight to prevent this from happening again. #justiceforgeorgefloyd